Slap Chop video remixed by Steve Porter, dubbed “Rap Chop”
DJ and Producer, and musical genious, Steve Porter has remixed the Slap Chop video and created his own theme called “Rap Chop.” This is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while. Check it out.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA&feature=haxa_popt17us15]
Obama Depressed, Distant Since ‘Battlestar Galactica’ Series Finale
WASHINGTON—According to sources in the White House, President Barack Obama has been uncharacteristically distant and withdrawn ever since last month’s two-hour series finale of Battlestar Galactica.
“The president seems to be someplace else lately,” said one high-level official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Yesterday we were all being briefed on the encroachment of Iranian drone planes into Iraq, when he just looked up from the table and blurted out, ‘What am I supposed to watch on Fridays at 10 p.m. now? Numb3rs?’”
“I haven’t seen him this upset since Admiral Adama realized that Earth was actually an uninhabitable wasteland,” the official continued. “Or at least that’s what he told me. I don’t actually watch the show. It’s not really my thing.”
Since the end of the series, Obama has reportedly brushed off key budgetary decisions, ignored his wife and children, and neglected his daily workouts, claiming that he no longer cares if he lets himself go “just like Lee did before the rescue on New Caprica.”
In addition, sources confirmed that instead of meeting with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner on Monday, the depressed president sat alone in the Oval Office, scouring Internet message boards for posts by other fans about the series.
Hoping to cheer himself up, Obama also decided to re-watch the extended director’s cut of “Unfinished Business,” a season three episode he once described as “bringing the Starbuck-Apollo relationship to a head in the best possible way.”
Revisiting the series, however, has only made the president more miserable. After a staffer suggested he bring DVDs of the show along on a recent policy trip to Denver, Obama reportedly muttered under his breath, “What’s the point? It’s over.”
“We were going over his schedule when he sighed and asked if I watched Battlestar,” said a White House secretary, whom Obama used to playfully call “Billy.” “I told him I was planning on it because my sister’s a big fan, but he just stared out the window the whole time.”
“I also noticed he took down his Battlestar Galactica season 4.5 poster,” she added.
Obama watched the finale just as he had every previous episode, alone in the White House screening room with the volume turned all the way up. Sources said he emerged exhilarated and told several aides that the show’s writers “wrapped things up the best they could, though the very end was a little much.”
The commander in chief also bragged that he “totally called” the fact that “All Along The Watch Tower” would be used as the jump coordinates for the FTL drive.
Despite his initial excitement, by Monday morning the absence of the hour-long Sci-Fi program had begun to affect the president.
“I’m a little concerned,” first lady Michelle Obama was overheard saying at a fundraising event Tuesday. “When Firefly was canceled, he walked around like a zombie for a week, and Serenity was the only thing that snapped him out of it. Last night he said he felt like he had just discovered David Axelrod was one of the Final Five, whatever that means.”
A devoted fan of the original 1978 Battlestar Galactica, Obama was initially hesitant to watch the new series, saying he was upset to learn that hotshot pilot Starbuck would be played by a woman. However, during a particularly slow week in the U.S. Senate, Obama decided to rent the first season from Netflix.
Aides said Obama “blew through” season one in a weekend, then purchased season 2.0 from a local Best Buy, and, in order to catch up in time for season three, downloaded the majority of season 2.5 from iTunes.
“When we spoke last month, he said season three was his least favorite because some of the episodes with Helo and the Sagittarons—and pretty much anything that involved Cally—were boring and didn’t advance the plot,” Afghan president Hamid Karzai said. “But I told him that when you watch it all on DVD, and you don’t have to wait a whole week for a new show, those peripheral episodes actually add new color to the already established world.”
Added Karzai, “Lately, though, it seems like he’d rather talk about the resurgence of Taliban warlords in Kandahar than the show.”
During an emergency press conference on Wednesday, Obama addressed his recent detachment, as well as various other matters facing the United States.
“Our nation finds itself in uncharted territory in the deep emptiness of space,” Obama announced. “The Old Girl has limited supplies, no allies, and now, no hope. I never said this would be an easy journey. Yet I promise you this: There is a place where there is no war and no economic turmoil. It is where, according to the Sacred Scrolls handed down to us by the Lords of Kobol, the thirteenth tribe traveled over three thousand years ago. That place is called Earth. Not the other Earth. This Earth. It’s complicated. Anyway, I plan to take us there.”
Added Obama, “So say we all! So say we all! So say we all!” 
….
Article re-posted from the Onion: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_depressed_distant_since
A Love Letter to my Husband
Vin,
From the very first night that we met, a spark appeared between us.
So bright that it couldn’t be denied.
It grew and grew.
Inseparable, we were. Counting down minutes when we were apart
Until the next moments we could be together.
Laughing, living, and loving.
One year ago, we made it final. Our lives we would live together
Forever.
The day was perfect, made just for us.
I’m so glad we could share our love and our lives
with our family, our friends, and our world.
The last year has been good to us. Great, actually.
And now here we are, one year later;
Happy Anniversary, a very special day!
It’s hard to believe how fast time has gone
We have made so many memories together,
We record every moment.
We will never forget even one.
I cannot wait to see what the next year will bring us.
The next 10 years, 50 years will belong to us.
Vinny and Jess, we will forever be
Never separate, always one.
I love you; this I know for sure
And I always will.
Love, Jess
Dean Team of St. Louis Update: Just Say No!
Continuing the saga of the cracked wheel on the 2009 Volkswagen Tiguan…
Dean Team’s sales manager, David Zor finally returned my phone call today. He immediately apologized for the fact that it took him 7 business days to return my phone call. He told me that he spoke with the repair manager, Randy Carson. He asked what I was planning on doing. I told him that I was planning on taking my business to another dealership and that he would probably never hear from me again. His exact words were “Ok. Thank you.”
The conversation was about to end when I couldn’t help myself but to ask: “Is this course of action OK with you?” He said that it wasn’t but that they weren’t going to take the hit on this repair. I reiterated the fact that, other than the fact that the car wouldn’t start, it was fine and not shaking until after the repair techs got through with it. I asked him if there was even a remote possibility of the fact that it was damaged on the lot. Acting like a typical sales man, he replied that his service techs were “the best in the state; no one else comes close; and that if one of them had damaged the car, they would have been professional enough to fess up to it.”
Well, with all due respect, no, they wouldn’t have. In this job climate who would honestly risk their job but saying that they damaged a customer’s car? And are these the same spectacular service techs who tried to rip off my wife by selling her an oil change that they knew she didn’t need?
He said there was nothing more that he could do, and we hung up.
10 minutes later, I filed an online complaint with Missouri’s Better Business Bureau Auto Line Complaint Website. Tomorrow I will send out emails about Dean Team to our mailing list, and will send these blog posts via mail to Mr. Dean. Let’s see what happens (if anything).
You know what the craziest part about all of this is? They never even once offered to fix the problem at a reduced cost. Forget about not even acknowledging even the most remote possiblity that this could have been thier fault. After all of the people I had talked to, you’d think they would have at least called it down the middle and just charged me for the parts. Nope, all I got was a great big shaft.
Why you should never assemble Ikea furniture over carpet.
Little did we know that the reason we couldn’t lift the shelf was because it was stuck to the carpet. I think it was the initial tearing sound that gave it away. 
Our Horrible Experience with Dean Team Volkswagen of St Louis
About 5 months ago, we leased a new 2009 Volkswagen Tiguan. We needed something with a little more room and would be rock solid under nasty weather conditions. Volkswagen: Fine German Engineering, right?
1 month in, the cart starts randomly not starting. What’s even stranger is that occasionally, it would only start after you closed and re-opened the driver’s side door. At first I thought this was a clever safety mechanism to ensure that the door was closed before letting the car start, but normally the car starts just fine with the door open. It was very bizarre.
Anyway, we bring the car into VW. They fix it the problem which turns out to be faulty battery cables. While we’re there, we also asked them to do an oil change, because we were promised free oil changes with our lease. Great, right? Well, no one told us that we only get free oil changes every 10,000 miles, nor that the car only needs oil changes that often because it takes synthetic oil. So why, at 5,000 miles did they tell Jess that she needed to have her oil changed? Obviously because Jess was a girl and she didn’t know any better, and probably because they wanted to charge her $80 for an oil change. WTF??
I called and complained until they sent me a check for $50. Randy Carson, their service manager is a complete ass by the way. I finally had to call the sales manager in order to get the refund, and it wasn’t even a complete refund…. But fine, whatever, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Over the course of the next month we ran into even more problems. The passenger side seat belt completely came out while we were driving and the car has started to shake really bad. We brought the car in again, and this time they told us that the back-driver’s side wheel was cracked and that the arm was bent. They said we hit something and it would cost about $900 to fix. Jess said she didn’t hit anything, and I believe her. How do we even know that it was not done in the shop getting the oil changed? Don’t they put the car on the lift to do this? There’s no guarantee that someone there didn’t run over a curb before hand, or that this probably didn’t occur on one of the test drives before I bought the car. I asked them to provide some sort of proof or inspection that the car wasn’t this way when it left the dealership (either at purchase or the last time we brought it in), and they couldn’t.
So now I’m stuck paying a bill for something that I didn’t even cause? Randy Carson wouldn’t even deal with me at this point. He briefly called to tell me that there was nothing that they were willing to do and that I needed to come and pick up the car. Excuse me, but I don’t exactly trust their service team after they tried to intentionally rip off my wife. He said he was sorry, and goodbye. How’s that for a great big “Fuck You”?
I called VW corporate and told them and they weren’t willing to do anything either, because it wasn’t a manufacturer’s defect; but as of now, I already have 2 incidents on file. 2 more and I can legally turn the car back in under Missouri’s Lemon Law.
So to sum up this long story, Dean Team’s customer service has been complete crap and they’ve actually stopped returning my calls at this point. VW corporate told me to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau and that’s what I will do. All I can hope for is that one of you out there learns from my mistake and never do business with them.
P.S. The car itself actually handles great, especially in rough weather conditions. If it wasn’t falling apart, I would actually recommend it.
P.P.S. Ever since we have been telling person about this problem, the response to how badly Dean Team’s service is, has been overwhelming. Thank you for all of your input out there, guys! It seems that a lot of people already would never trust the “Dean Team” to even wash their car!! – Jess
Cheesecake Factory: Fueling the obesity epedimic.
This is a picture of Jess and the ‘Salad’ she ordered from the Cheesecake Factory. I’m not really sure what more I can say about this except maybe to point out an obvious reason as to why most Americans are disgustingly fat.
Ok, here’s a true story. I once saw a lady at Cheesecake Factory that was so large, that after her meal it took the help of her friends to pry her out of her chair.
